FWD: Friend In Need

WHY FRIENDS ARE NECESSARY!

This was just too good to let it pass by…..

“Friends may not be able to PULL you up….BUT, THEY will still think of ways not to let you FALL….”

Thanks for being My FRIEND

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)

FWD: Running On Empty

SISTER MARY ANN’S GASOLINE

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street..

One of them turned to the other and said,
‘If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.’!!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2011)

 

 

In God we trust!
IF YOU SEE SOMEBODY WITHOUT A SMILE, GIVE THEM ONE OF YOURS.

FWD: Gone Fishin’

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am getting ready to retire, and I can hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime — bass fishing.
I’ve got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she does not like fishing. 
 

 Recently, at the Bait &Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn’t care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.
 

 A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you’ve ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother!So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she’d get interested.
Instead she says she doesn’t want me to go fishing at all anymore!
And she wants me to sell the boat!
I think she just doesn’t like to see me enjoying myself.
What would you do?Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

Thanks,

PS Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught.

SCROLL DOWN TO SEE PHOTO

Dear Fisherman,
Get rid of that narrow minded wife.  
That’s a nice pair of bass!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2007)

FWD: Senior Citizens

The Seniors Breakfast Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns & toast for $1.99.

‘Sounds good,’ my wife said. ‘But I don’t want the eggs.’

‘Then, I’ll have to charge you two dollars & forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her.

‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ my wife asked incredulously.

‘YES!!’ stated the waitress.

‘I’ll take the special then.’ my wife said.

‘How do you want your eggs?’ the waitress asked.

‘Raw and in the shell,’ my wife  replied.

(She took the two eggs home.)

DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!

WE’VE been around the block more than once!  

                                                     

Send this to the Seniors in your life.  I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!!  Even non-seniors will appreciate it!!!!!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)

FWD: Environmental Crisis

Result of Tree Shortages

Another problem caused by deforestation.

#dogs  #markyourterritory

FORWARD  this to all those who need to mark their territory before it’s too late!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2010)