FWD: Only In Louisiana

Ol’ Bessie

In Louisiana , this fella, Boudreaux, had a bad vehicle accident, caused by a truck. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Boudreaux.

Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, “I’m fine”? the lawyer asked.

Boudreaux responded, “Let me told you what happened. Me, I had jus loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da . . ”

I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted.
“Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, “I’m fine!”?

Boudreaux said, “I had jus got Bessie into da trailer and I was driving down da road . . .”

The lawyer interrupted again and! said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several
weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to answer the question.”

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Boudreaux’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”

Boudreaux thanked the Judge and proceeded, “I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and was driving her down da highway when dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. Me, I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into da udder.. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move at tall. But, I could herd ole Bessie moanin and groanin. Me, I knew she was in some kind o’ terrible shape just by her groans.”

“Shortly after da accident, a Highway Patrolman, he came on da scene. He herd Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ so, him, he went over ta her. After he took hisself a look at her, he took out his gun and shot her between da eyes.

“Den da Patrolman came cross da road, gun in hand, and looked at me, and said ‘How are you feeling?'”

“Now what da hell would you say?!”

#rednecks
(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)

FWD: Gas Problems

Problems at the Pump

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

A friend stopped at a pay-at-the-pump gas station to get gas. Once she filled her gas tank and after paying at the pump and starting to leave, the voice of the attendant inside came over the speaker. He told her that something happened with her card and that she needed to come inside to pay. The lady was confused because the transaction showed complete and approved. She relayed that to him and was getting ready to leave but the attendant, once again, urged her to come in to pay or there’d be trouble. She proceeded to go inside and started arguing with the attendant about his threat. He told her to calm down and listen carefully:

He said that while she was pumping gas, a guy slipped into the back seat of her car on the other side and the attendant had already called the police.

She became frightened and looked out in time to see her car door open and the guy slip out. The report is that the new gang initiation thing is to bring back a woman and/or her car. One way they are doing this is crawling under women’s cars while they’re pumping gas or at grocery stores in the nighttime. The other way is slipping into unattended cars and kidnapping the women.

Please pass this on to other women, young and old alike. Be extra careful going to and from your car at night. If at all possible, don’t go alone!
This is real!!

The message:

1. ALWAYS lock your car doors, even if you’re gone for just a second!

2. Check underneath your car when approaching it for reentry, and check in the back before getting in.

3. Always be aware of your surroundings and of other individuals in your general vicinity, particularly at night!

Send this to everyone so your friends can take precaution.

AND GUYS…YOU TELL ANY WOMEN YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS Thanks,

Barbara Baker, Secretary Directorate of Training U.S. Army Military Police
School

THIS IS TOO SERIOUS … DO NOT DELETE. PLEASE PASS IT ON!!

FWD: Impaired Driving

How do you know when it is time to “hang up the car keys”?
 

I SAY WHEN YOUR DOG HAS THIS LOOK ON HIS FACE!  
 

 #PoorDog

FORWARD THIS ONTO ALL THOSE WHO KNOW ELDERLY PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT BE ON THE ROAD.

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2011)

FWD: Stop Drinking

What Do You Do?

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

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Answer:
Get off the children’s carousel and, next time, don’t drink so much !

FORWARD THIS TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE SAUCE!
(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2007)

FWD: FEMALE PARKING

New Law: 

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Edinburgh City  Council has established a ‘Women Only’ parking lot at the Tesco shopping center.

Even the parking attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. 

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Edinburgh!

Take a look to see how it’s going so far!

DRIVE SAFE!

PARKING FAIL

 

FORWARD this to all the women you care about…..and to any men who appreciate a good laugh!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2009)