FWD: It’s Income Tax Day – Pay Up!

Income Tax Day!

Sometimesdaily "TAX DAY"

Sometimesdaily "TAX DAY" (Photo credit: oxmour)

In the United States, Tax Day is a colloquial term for the day on which individual income tax returns are due to the federal government. The term may also refer to the same day for states, even where the tax return due date is a different day.

Since 1955, Tax Day is usually on April 15. When April 15 falls on a weekend, Emancipation Day, or any other holiday, tax returns are instead due on the following business day.

  • In 2011, Tax Day was Monday, April 18.
  • In 2012, Tax Day is Tuesday, April 17.
  • In 2013, Tax Day will be Monday, April 15.

New Tax Form!


History

Federal income tax was introduced with the Revenue Act of 1861 to help fund the Civil War, and subsequently repealed, re-adopted, and held unconstitutional. The early taxes were based on assessments, not voluntary tax returns. Tax payment dates varied by act.[1]

The case of Pollock v. Farmers’ Loan & Trust Co. challenged the constitutionality of the Wilson-Gorman Tariff Act of 1894 which taxed incomes over $4,000 at the rate of two percent. The case was decided by the United States Supreme Court in 1895. The Supreme Court decided that the Act’s unapportioned income taxes on interest, dividends, and rents were effectively direct taxes. The Act was therefore unconstitutional because it violated the Constitution‘s rule that direct taxes be apportioned.[2] In 1913, eighteen years later, the Sixteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. This Amendment gave the United States Congress the legal authority to tax all incomes without regard to the apportionment requirement.

The filing deadline for individuals was March 1 in 1913 and was changed to March 15 in 1918 and again to April 15 in 1955.[3] Today, the filing deadline for U.S. federal income tax returns for individuals remains April 15 or, in the event that the 15th falls on a Saturday, Sunday or holiday, the first succeeding day that is not a Saturday, Sunday or holiday.

Tax Day occasionally falls on Patriots’ Day, a civic holiday in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and state of Maine, or the preceding weekend. When this occurred for some time, the federal tax deadline was extended by a day for the residents of Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and the District of Columbia because the IRS processing center for these areas was located in Andover, Massachusetts and the unionized IRS employees got the day off.[4] In 2011, the Monday, April 18, Tax Day fell on Patriots’ Day. However, federal filings were directed to Hartford, Connecticut, Charlotte, North Carolina and Kansas City, Missouri[5] and there was no further extension for Maine, Massachusetts or other surrounding states’ residents.[6][7] The Maine state tax filing deadline was still extended to April 19 in 2011 due to Patriots’ Day.[8]

In 2007, Tax Day was on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 because April 15 fell on a Sunday and Monday, April 16 was Emancipation Day, a legal holiday in the District of Columbia. A storm and flooding affected the Northeast that year and certain states were granted additional time to file. In some cases, the deadline was extended to as late as June 25.[9][10] In 2011, the federal tax deadline was extended to April 18, since Emancipation Day, a holiday in Washington, D.C., was celebrated on April 15, a Friday.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tax_Day

FWD: How To Survive An I.R.S. Audit!

How To Survive An I.R.S. Audit!

Logo of the Internal Revenue Service

Logo of the Internal Revenue Service (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the IRS office.  The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said,
‘Well, sir,  you have an extravagant lifestyle and no  full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

“I’m a  great gambler and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa.
‘How about a demonstration?’

The  auditor thinks for a moment and said,
‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says,
‘I’ll bet you a  thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says,
‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw  drops.

Grandpa says,
‘Now, I’ll bet you  two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s  attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’  Grandpa asks
‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk and pee into that wastebasket on the other side and never get a drop anywhere in
between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is  cautious now but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you  okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney.
‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet  me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’

Crafty Old Man!
I keep telling you! Don’t Mess with Old People!!


At income tax time, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells… ‘THEIRS’?


Don’t forget to file your taxes!    2011 Taxes are due April 17th, 2012!

FWD: Random Questions?

Random Questions?

Maxine

Maxine

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…………does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?   Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks,  so I wondered what do Asian mothers use.   Toothpicks?

If Lawyers are disbarred and Clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that:

  • Electricians can be delighted
  • Musicians denoted
  • Cowboys deranged
  • Models deposed
  • Tree Surgeons debarked
  • Dry Cleaners depressed

Do Lipton Tea employees take ‘coffee breaks?’

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
(I have wondered this for years!!!)

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do, write to them?   Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words ‘The’ and IRS together, it spells ‘THEIRS”‘?