FWD: Time To Retire

David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex … ?

10. A below par performance is considered damn good.

9.You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

8. It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.

7. Foursomes are encouraged.

6. You can still make money doing it as a senior.

5. Three times a day is possible.

4. Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else

3. If you live in Florida , you can do it almost everyday.

2. You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.

And the number one reason why golf is better than sex

1. If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it.

#2015LettermanRetirement

FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR GOLFING BUDDIES & DAVID LETTERMAN FANS!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2007)

FWD: Green Thumb Gone Bad

Things you shouldn’t find in your garden!

Have you seen vegetables like these before?

FORWARD THIS TO ALL THE DIRTY GARDENERS YOU KNOW!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2007)

#DirtyGarden

FWD: Marriage Roles

How to tell if you’ve been married too long…..

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men by surprising them wearing black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask. After a few days they meet up for lunch and compare notes...

The engaged woman: 

The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, stilettos and a mask.

He saw me and said,

"You are the woman of my life. I love you." Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: 

Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman:

When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said,

"What's for dinner, Batman?"

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)

Forward this too everyone who has ever been married or engaged!

FWD: It’s Like Pulling Teeth

Tooth Extraction

A man goes to an oral surgeon to have a tooth pulled.

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot.

“No way!! No needles!!  I hate needles, the patient said”.

The dentist starts to hook up a laughing gas and the man objects.

“I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!!” 

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“No objection’, says the patient, ‘I’m fine with pills”.

The dentist then returns and says, “here’s a Viagra tablet”.

The patient says,
Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!

“It doesn’t”, said the Dentist, “but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!!”

FORWARD this to anyone who could use a good laugh!

(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)

FWD: 3 Stages Of A Man’s Life

3 STAGES OF A MAN‘S LIFE

SINGLE LIFE:

MARRIED LIFE:

DIVORCED: