3% Vitamin E
2% Aspirin
2% Ibuprofen
1% Vitamin C
5% Spray Starch
87% Fix-A-Flat
FORWARD THIS TO THOSE WHO ARE HAVING TROUBLE STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES!
(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2007)
A man goes to an oral surgeon to have a tooth pulled.
The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot.
“No way!! No needles!! I hate needles, the patient said”.
The dentist starts to hook up a laughing gas and the man objects.
“I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!!”
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
“No objection’, says the patient, ‘I’m fine with pills”.
The dentist then returns and says, “here’s a Viagra tablet”.
The patient says,
Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!
“It doesn’t”, said the Dentist, “but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!!”
FORWARD this to anyone who could use a good laugh!
(EMAIL FORWARD CIRCA 2008)
SUNBURN TREATMENT
A man named Ben, visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, ‘What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?’
The doctor replied, ‘It won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.’
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.
Curious, the man asks,” What are they doing in there”?
The nurse responds, ” They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care.”
Stuff My Mom Forwards 